not even a mustard seed
The past four or five months have been a serious learning experience for me. What's kind of horrible about it is the fact that it has taken me about that long to realize it. God started by working in a more subtle way, but turned the heat on when I started searching for an apartment at the beginning of December.
Even though my lease wasn't up until the end of January, I started looking then because I took a long vacation around the holidays and I was hoping to move out before I left for home. I started looking on the internet and walking around my area. I found a few places that first weekend, but nothing outstanding. I also came to the realization that a 1/1 was going to be hard to come by in my price range. Over the next week, I kept looking. I came across an amazing loft-style apartment that was close to my price range, but I had to turn it down because I was going to be really stretched making ends meet. Shortly thereafter, I found another pretty nice place. I made an appointment to work out the details with the landlord. He didn't make the appointment and then rented it half an hour before our rescheduled time the next day. In the next few days, I felt like I was supposed to be looking more in downtown. If I'm supposed to serve those in need, it is easier to do when you're actually around them more often. I came across a great place in an ok area just north of downtown. It wasn't ideal, but I was willing to move there if it was what God wanted. It got rented out from under me. At this point, it was going to be impossible to find a place and then move in before I left on vacation. Needless to say, I was a little frustrated. Looking back on it, it is far better that I didn't find anything. I was stressed enough trying to make a deadline at work and because my apartment was free a friend's sis and bro-in-law were able to stay there for Christmas and not have to spend the money on a hotel. Oh but we're not done. . .
When I got back from vacation, the amazing loft-style apartment was still on the market. When I called the realtor, she remembered me and dropped the rent into my price range. We set up a meeting for the next morning to sign all the papers and I got a couple of money orders to cover the security deposit. I didn't have a peace from the time I started talking to her. It continued all night. I spent the next morning (Sat) before our meeting reading, praying, and writing. By the time I was done, I had a complete peace about turning the place down. I called the lady and apologized for the roller-coaster, but I just couldn't take it. I had to work that whole weekend, but in the moments where I did have time to search for something God told me not to get on the internet and not to walk around. It was hard, but I waited for him to give the green light. I didn't search for anything until the following Saturday. He told me to walk North. I canvased the neighborhood and only ended up with one lead. I made an appointment to see the place on Monday after work. When we met and looked at it, I was pretty impressed. It was very nice, but the realtor jumped the rent by $120 from what she original told me. As I walked to the grocery store, I knew that it wasn't it. Sometime that evening, it dawned on me what God was teaching me:
If he is the giver of good gifts - not just good, but the best - then I will have to say no to good gifts on the way to receiving the best.
Unexplainable peace overcame me and I knew that I had gotten it. This simple truth applies to everything in my life and I can see where he has been telling me this for a long time. I am so thankful that he chose something as small and rather inconsequential as an apartment to teach this to me than something much larger where I would have cracked long before I'd learned it. My faith grew tremendously over the last month or so and I write this in hopes that it might strengthen your's as well because the story obviously doesn't end here.
After I turned that last one down, I knew that God was going to provide for me on the following Saturday. I didn't even look until then and I wasn't even tempted to. And as promised, he provided. He had me walk South in the morning without much luck, but he confirmed me not looking on the internet or using a realtor through several phone calls. In the afternoon, he had me walk north despite my misgivings since I had walked that route the weekend before. If for no other reason, I then new which signs were new and which ones had been up for a week and I had already called. The sign had been out front for only a couple of days when I called. I also had the security deposit to hand to the landlord that day because God had told me not to deposit the cash from the returned money orders for the loft-style apartment. He even takes care of the little details.
So here are a few pictures of the new place:
Standing in the front door looking at the (from L to R) living area, door into the kitchen, dining area, door into my bedroom, and mantle.
Standing in the corner next to the front window and coat closet looking at the dining area, my bedroom door, the faux fireplace, niche, and front door.
Looking from the dining area into the kitchen. Yes, that is a full size sink! And I dare say it can fit more than one person in it without feeling like you're molesting each other.
A shot from the dining area through my bedroom door looking into the bathroom and my closet. You have no idea how exciting it is to have a closet with a door on it.
This is the best I could do of the bedroom. I'm standing in the corner next to the closet. The bathroom is to my right.
Even though my lease wasn't up until the end of January, I started looking then because I took a long vacation around the holidays and I was hoping to move out before I left for home. I started looking on the internet and walking around my area. I found a few places that first weekend, but nothing outstanding. I also came to the realization that a 1/1 was going to be hard to come by in my price range. Over the next week, I kept looking. I came across an amazing loft-style apartment that was close to my price range, but I had to turn it down because I was going to be really stretched making ends meet. Shortly thereafter, I found another pretty nice place. I made an appointment to work out the details with the landlord. He didn't make the appointment and then rented it half an hour before our rescheduled time the next day. In the next few days, I felt like I was supposed to be looking more in downtown. If I'm supposed to serve those in need, it is easier to do when you're actually around them more often. I came across a great place in an ok area just north of downtown. It wasn't ideal, but I was willing to move there if it was what God wanted. It got rented out from under me. At this point, it was going to be impossible to find a place and then move in before I left on vacation. Needless to say, I was a little frustrated. Looking back on it, it is far better that I didn't find anything. I was stressed enough trying to make a deadline at work and because my apartment was free a friend's sis and bro-in-law were able to stay there for Christmas and not have to spend the money on a hotel. Oh but we're not done. . .
When I got back from vacation, the amazing loft-style apartment was still on the market. When I called the realtor, she remembered me and dropped the rent into my price range. We set up a meeting for the next morning to sign all the papers and I got a couple of money orders to cover the security deposit. I didn't have a peace from the time I started talking to her. It continued all night. I spent the next morning (Sat) before our meeting reading, praying, and writing. By the time I was done, I had a complete peace about turning the place down. I called the lady and apologized for the roller-coaster, but I just couldn't take it. I had to work that whole weekend, but in the moments where I did have time to search for something God told me not to get on the internet and not to walk around. It was hard, but I waited for him to give the green light. I didn't search for anything until the following Saturday. He told me to walk North. I canvased the neighborhood and only ended up with one lead. I made an appointment to see the place on Monday after work. When we met and looked at it, I was pretty impressed. It was very nice, but the realtor jumped the rent by $120 from what she original told me. As I walked to the grocery store, I knew that it wasn't it. Sometime that evening, it dawned on me what God was teaching me:
If he is the giver of good gifts - not just good, but the best - then I will have to say no to good gifts on the way to receiving the best.
Unexplainable peace overcame me and I knew that I had gotten it. This simple truth applies to everything in my life and I can see where he has been telling me this for a long time. I am so thankful that he chose something as small and rather inconsequential as an apartment to teach this to me than something much larger where I would have cracked long before I'd learned it. My faith grew tremendously over the last month or so and I write this in hopes that it might strengthen your's as well because the story obviously doesn't end here.
After I turned that last one down, I knew that God was going to provide for me on the following Saturday. I didn't even look until then and I wasn't even tempted to. And as promised, he provided. He had me walk South in the morning without much luck, but he confirmed me not looking on the internet or using a realtor through several phone calls. In the afternoon, he had me walk north despite my misgivings since I had walked that route the weekend before. If for no other reason, I then new which signs were new and which ones had been up for a week and I had already called. The sign had been out front for only a couple of days when I called. I also had the security deposit to hand to the landlord that day because God had told me not to deposit the cash from the returned money orders for the loft-style apartment. He even takes care of the little details.
So here are a few pictures of the new place:
Standing in the front door looking at the (from L to R) living area, door into the kitchen, dining area, door into my bedroom, and mantle.
Standing in the corner next to the front window and coat closet looking at the dining area, my bedroom door, the faux fireplace, niche, and front door.
Looking from the dining area into the kitchen. Yes, that is a full size sink! And I dare say it can fit more than one person in it without feeling like you're molesting each other.
A shot from the dining area through my bedroom door looking into the bathroom and my closet. You have no idea how exciting it is to have a closet with a door on it.
This is the best I could do of the bedroom. I'm standing in the corner next to the closet. The bathroom is to my right.
This picture is really just for the hilarity that is the tile pattern and that the last resident put up a plaid shower curtain. I think I'll accent with some neon yellow towels and electric green candles.
posted by Sojourner at 9:25 PM
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